November 1, 2001

Dear friends and family, I am writing to share some big news in my life. On November 24, I leave for Ukraine to find a son or daughter (maybe two!)

As some of you know, I have been thinking about building a family through adoption for some time. I am looking forward to having a child in my life and to being a mom! (One of these days I still hope to find Mr. Right, but I can't wait for that now!)

I chose Ukraine because they have a system that allows parents to go directly to the orphanages and meet the children. I can play with the kids and find a good fit for both of us. (Other countries work through agencies that set up the match.) I hope to find a child, or maybe a sibling pair between ages 2-4 of either gender. I will get medical advice via fax/email from the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota. I have tried to educate myself about attachment disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome and other medical issues, but the reality is that when I meet the children, I will need to use a combination of logic and love. Some people come home with a child much different from what they had planned, yet they all have said that it felt right. So having an open heart is important.

Children in Ukraine are in orphanages for many reasons, mainly the economic situation. The average salary is between $40-60/month. Since 1991 when Ukraine became independent from the Soviet Union, the country has been in shambles. The USA is providing quite a bit of aid to help their fledging democracy, but you still hear of outspoken journalists being killed and other scandals that mark a country in transition. Some parents cannot afford to feed and shelter their children, so the children are placed in the orphanage until the family's situation improves. Most of these children are not available for adoption, but some are. Other children may have been abandoned at birth, or the parental rights terminated due to abuse or neglect (like the children in our foster homes here.) Obviously, adopting from a foreign country is a risk, but I am going there because Ukraine recognizes that children need families and they do not discriminate against single women or men.

I am a member of the Independent Ukraine Adoption Family Network which is a group of people that help each other through the process. The IUAFN was started by Cathy Harris who adopted five children from Ukraine. You can learn more about her and the families in the network at http://www.ukrainianangels.org/. It is especially fun to search a category, eg. single women, and see the children they have adopted. Over 400 families have adopted this way and we all have a sense of independence and adventure. Ukraine adoption is predictable and fast, some people have adopted within 6 months of starting their paperwork. By doing most of the paperwork myself, I have saved thousands of dollars.

Just because I am adopting independent of an agency, this does not mean I will be alone. I will meet my translator Julia and driver when I step off the plane in Kyiv and they will be with me the whole time. I will be gone about 3-5 weeks. In October, nineteen IUAFN families were in Ukraine adopting, so there is always the chance that I will meet up with other American families while I am there.

Ukraine has a sad history of being dominated by others: the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Poles, the Germans and most recently the Soviets. On August 24, 1991 Ukraine declared independence from the USSR. The more I learn about their history, the more admiration I have for the people who have survived and are trying to build a new country. There are many sad chapters including a famine forced by Stalin in 1932-33 during the collectivization of farms where entire villages were starved to death or removed to work camps in Siberia. During WWI over 2 million Ukrainain Jews were exterminated by Hitler's army. The struggles of the Ukrainian Independence movement in the 1950 are quite striking. Only now, since independence, are these stories being published. Many Ukrainians immigrated to Canada and the USA, so you find many Ukrainians in Chicago, New York City and even Duluth, MN. This year, Washburn High School has a Ukrainian exchange student!

Ukraine is rich in culture including many wonderful Christmas traditions and songs. I learned the other day that the song "Ring Christmas Bells" one of my favorites, came from Ukraine. I am also looking forward to learning to cook borscht and decorating those fancy Easter Eggs (pysanky). Here is a map of Ukraine http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/commonwealth/ukraine.gif

Thanks to all my family and friends who have supported my decision to adopt - that has meant a lot to me. Thanks to the Savitsky's for taking care of Birkie while I am gone. Also, thanks to my employers, the Madeline Island Wilderness Preserve (who I will be leaving after three years) and the Bayfield Regional Conservancy for their flexibility.

I will try to post updates to my website http://ruth.oppedahl.com/ as often as I can.

For those of you within driving distance, I am having a potluck and jam session on Saturday, November 17 at my home (stay the weekend if you like.) You are all invited to help me celebrate the upcoming trip, my birthday and the next exciting chapter of life!